Beards ..... are AWESOME.Beards are truly amazing and in my procrastination I looked further into them. Maybe even researched. I, like all other university students whilst researching a topic, sought the greatest internet bank of knowledge - Wikipedia. In this pool of wisdom I discovered a whole group of people that I now have the utmost respect for. Pogonologists, men and maybe a few women who dedicate their lives to studying the amazing, furry, fungal-like growth that sprouts from my face.
Instantly I thought of three beard-tastic jobs for pogonologists.
1) CSI pogonologists
When hunting those criminals on the run, with no time for a shave, the CSI team consult their friendly department's pogonologist. With the gender, age, ethnicity and height, they could give accurate predictions of facial growth, giving more up-to-date police sketches and highly advanced beard-measuring technology (yes I have just finished watching a Fringe episode).
2) Cosmetic pogonologists
Egyptians would weave gold and dye it red/brown into their beards. Babylonians used curling irons and oils to turn their beards into the hottest chin strap on the block. The cosmetic pogonologist supports the metro man in his pursuit of facial hairiness whilst maintaining that urban businessman persona. Whether the pogonologist creates design sketches or gets in there with gold and oil, it's good to know your beard is being cared for by a professional.
3) Sports science pogonologists
With the sudden rise in beard growth in sport teams (namely that of the Canterbury forward pack) there are always a couple of hairy warriors. The need for sports tailored beards is dire. With all these athletic men sporting beards (had to do it sorry), aerodynamics has become a major issue. It warms my manly engineering heart to think of completing computational fluid dynamics analyses on a full grown southern beard in a wind tunnel.
I have come back down to earth and realise it's tough for aspiring pogonologists out there. Men, we are letting them down. From about the mid 19th century, the beard in western culture has been on the decline. We find ourselves here in the 21st century with the 5 o’clock shadow as the mere remnant of the former glorious tradition. It is a great loss to society. We can make a change as men band together and get hairy faces.
Just remember, every time you shave you are just putting a friendly pogonologist out of a job.
Images thanks to
TheEpochtimes,Kakiasoptics , kyoto-np, LPintoS
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